Wow! How did that happen? Nearly 8 months have passed since my last post. That's practically a full-term baby of no blogging. I know what happened. Motherhood. And not just any ol' motherhood, but returning-to-work-after-5-month-maternity-leave motherhood. And it sucked. Sucky, sucky big time. No blogs, no reading, no fun. But on the upside - I am now a stay-at-home mommy!! So hopefully I can get back to my blogging ways and began to document all the happy and ridiculous moments of spending every waking hour with my 13 month old.
I applaud mommies who work. It was hard and I don't mean to gloss over my brief stint as a working mommy. But it was not for our family. My hubby works long, hard hours and it just was not a good fit for us and we were fortunate enough to change our situation. I know my husband does not miss my nightly melt downs as I cleaned out my pump and screamed at him. In fact, I think he told me I could stop working just so he could stop walking on egg shells around my Mariah Carey mood swings. I certainly miss my online shopping days and pedicures, but I get to snuggle with B at 10:00 in the morning while everyone else is just sinking their teeth into their work day. Life is good!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Friday, August 19, 2011
Til' Death do us Part?!
Ah, I remember getting married. It was such a happy day. Dressed in frothy white, tiara-topped perfect hair, being the center of attention. Hell, I had people falling over me just to straighten my dress. Sparkling diamonds on my fingers, fizzing champagne glasses being replaced in my hand as soon as one was empty. These days I feel as if my wedding day was eons ago. I remember giddily standing before the pastor and across from husband pledging to love him "til death do us part." Really, the words should have been "until we have a baby and I want to stab your eye out with a fork because I have to explicitly ask you to do every damn little thing." Yes, my husband should be a mind reader, and I think that is a perfectly normal request. Gone is the white frothy dress, my smallest-ever dress size and perky little breasts that looked oh-so-cute in my sweetheart neckline. I now have a post-baby body including 2 huge milk machines that inhabit my chest region, and a husband who makes me fantasize about using cutlery in a whole new way.
What no one tells you is that communication becomes key once having a baby. I love B! I love that we have B. What I don't love is having to ask my husband to do things instead of him innately knowing what I need. As I nurse B to sleep upstairs every night, my husband happily sprawls out on the couch and watches Law and Order reruns. When I come downstairs and begin the nightly clean-up ritual he lazily calls out "Sit down. Relax." Oh, how lovely that would be! But bottles need washing and toys need to be put away. So instead I storm around downstairs and mumble "Gee, how nice it must be to come downstairs and relax!" As I type this (after my nightly clean-up) my husband is happily watching Animal House and calling out at random moments "This is the best part!" "No! This is the best part!" "Babe, are you watching?!" Stereotypical? Yes, between scraping spit up off the floor and scrubbing bottles, I am enjoying John Belushi in a toga. Note, dripping sarcasm.
But now, I am tired, the house is clean and my husband is starting to fall asleep. I could start another argument...but really, I haven't seen the Real Housewives of New Jersey in 2 weeks. And Sam and Ronnie are back to their shennanigans, and I have fingers crossed for more bed-throwing, property-bashing scenes. Not to mention that Sookie and Eric just hooked up in True Blood and I must, must, must see what happens with that crazy-ass witch. So, start a battle or stealthily steal the remote control and hijack the DVR? I'm choosing option B tonight. Besides, the silverware will be there tomorrow night...
What no one tells you is that communication becomes key once having a baby. I love B! I love that we have B. What I don't love is having to ask my husband to do things instead of him innately knowing what I need. As I nurse B to sleep upstairs every night, my husband happily sprawls out on the couch and watches Law and Order reruns. When I come downstairs and begin the nightly clean-up ritual he lazily calls out "Sit down. Relax." Oh, how lovely that would be! But bottles need washing and toys need to be put away. So instead I storm around downstairs and mumble "Gee, how nice it must be to come downstairs and relax!" As I type this (after my nightly clean-up) my husband is happily watching Animal House and calling out at random moments "This is the best part!" "No! This is the best part!" "Babe, are you watching?!" Stereotypical? Yes, between scraping spit up off the floor and scrubbing bottles, I am enjoying John Belushi in a toga. Note, dripping sarcasm.
But now, I am tired, the house is clean and my husband is starting to fall asleep. I could start another argument...but really, I haven't seen the Real Housewives of New Jersey in 2 weeks. And Sam and Ronnie are back to their shennanigans, and I have fingers crossed for more bed-throwing, property-bashing scenes. Not to mention that Sookie and Eric just hooked up in True Blood and I must, must, must see what happens with that crazy-ass witch. So, start a battle or stealthily steal the remote control and hijack the DVR? I'm choosing option B tonight. Besides, the silverware will be there tomorrow night...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Baby Beware
So today B and I headed over to a playdate with some of her little friends. I use the word "playdate" loosely because 4 and 5 month olds don't interact much. They stare at one another and gnaw on their hands, while us mommies cling to our group and our last remaining shred of sanity. This is the time where we learn that what we are reading in baby books is BS. "Oh, your baby isn't taking two naps at 9am and 1pm either? Good! Neither is mine!" And "Thank god my child is not the only one that refuses to sleep anywhere but her car seat." And, "No, we are not making our own organic baby food. Store-bought organic is just as good!" (And yes, we are working moms, so no, we are not going to feel bad about not having time to make organic baby food at home. )Trust me, if I had that kind of time I would be shaving my legs while in the shower. Who thought time management would consist of "Do I shave my legs today or wash my hair?" And that is on a good day when I can actually take a shower!
Moving on - I am admittedly guilty of the "I will never..." phrases in my pre-baby life. I will never let my child sleep on me. B had other plans, and when baby girl needs to sleep and I have tried EVERYTHING under the sun, sometimes I just have to sit there and let her sleep on me so her tiny self can recharge. And who will forget "I will never bring my child into bed." Guess what, folks? When it is 4 am and your little one has been waking up every hour, on the hour, screaming, your sleep deprived self realizes that 2 hours of light sleep with your baby in bed, is better than stumbling into the bathroom and almost peeing without pulling your pants down, and yes, I almost did this once. And so, this brings me to my new question - what will happen to my "I will never..." phrases related to toddlers?
Here is what happened today. A mommy whom I don't know very well brought her 5 month old daughter today, along with her 4 year old son. Her son was, of course, fascinated with B. Of all the adorable little babies there today, this little boy was drawn to B as cats to tuna. He just had to get in her face, and touch her little hands, and rub her little belly. The germaphobe in me began to hear warning bells go off, and I began to cautiously eye my diaper bag containing my little bottle of sanitizer. Meanwhile, this boy's mommy is sitting there saying "Be careful." And I'm thinking "Be careful?! Keep your grubby little hands to your self!" (Momma Bear syndrome) I have heard from many people that parents are more lax once they have a second child, but don't they remember the days of being a new parent and wanting to keep your child in a germ-free bubble?!! And so I reached the delicate line of do I correct the child in front of the mother, or try to distract him? Then he asks if he can hold B. Really??!! And his mom says, "Where do we have to hold babies?" And he hangs his head and dejectedly replies "On the couch." We are on the floor, so I happily think, yes! Saved by the mommy rules - but not, so! His mother then says "So go find a spot on the couch."
Luckily (yet unluckily) he is immediately distracted by B flinging her hands into the air and he swiftly grabs her little hand, to which I cannot stop from yelping "Easy!" and he proceeds to stick her hand in his mouth to kiss or suck, I'm not really sure because before I know it, I'm whisking B into the air saying she needs her diaper changed, all the while keeping said hand away from her hungry little mouth. (Have I mentioned that B sticks her hands in her mouth constantly?) I then artfully position myself, B and the diaper bag behind a chair where I proceed to use half a box of baby wipes on B's hand and arm before changing her dry diaper. Who lets their child stick a baby's hand in their mouth? He has his own little sister whose hand he can eat anytime. And surely, the "I will never..." phrase welled up inside of me. I will never let B go around eating people's baby's hands. I will never let B put her hands all over little babies because I will remember those days. I know that children are curious about babies, I understand. Babies are very cute, and they are tinier than toddlers which is very appealing since toddlers are little people themselves.
Later the afternoon when B was safely attached to my boob, this little boy was playing with his baby sister, and happily shoving her little fingers into his mouth. Suddenly the little baby cried out, and the mother yelled at her son "What did you do?" His response? ......... "I bit her finger." And while this short conversation was going on between mother and son, the poor baby was so worked up with a silent scream that she wasn't taking a breath - that awful, purple look. The mother freaked out, scooped up the wailing infant and dragged the boy into the other room. Not before us other moms noticed the bite mark on the baby's finger. And all I could think? Thank goodness it wasn't B. Today would not have been a good day for Momma Bear to come out. (aka, me losing my cool over B, which isn't pretty or good for keeping mommy friends) Ahh, parenthood. Here's to hoping...."I will never let my child bite a baby."
Moving on - I am admittedly guilty of the "I will never..." phrases in my pre-baby life. I will never let my child sleep on me. B had other plans, and when baby girl needs to sleep and I have tried EVERYTHING under the sun, sometimes I just have to sit there and let her sleep on me so her tiny self can recharge. And who will forget "I will never bring my child into bed." Guess what, folks? When it is 4 am and your little one has been waking up every hour, on the hour, screaming, your sleep deprived self realizes that 2 hours of light sleep with your baby in bed, is better than stumbling into the bathroom and almost peeing without pulling your pants down, and yes, I almost did this once. And so, this brings me to my new question - what will happen to my "I will never..." phrases related to toddlers?
Here is what happened today. A mommy whom I don't know very well brought her 5 month old daughter today, along with her 4 year old son. Her son was, of course, fascinated with B. Of all the adorable little babies there today, this little boy was drawn to B as cats to tuna. He just had to get in her face, and touch her little hands, and rub her little belly. The germaphobe in me began to hear warning bells go off, and I began to cautiously eye my diaper bag containing my little bottle of sanitizer. Meanwhile, this boy's mommy is sitting there saying "Be careful." And I'm thinking "Be careful?! Keep your grubby little hands to your self!" (Momma Bear syndrome) I have heard from many people that parents are more lax once they have a second child, but don't they remember the days of being a new parent and wanting to keep your child in a germ-free bubble?!! And so I reached the delicate line of do I correct the child in front of the mother, or try to distract him? Then he asks if he can hold B. Really??!! And his mom says, "Where do we have to hold babies?" And he hangs his head and dejectedly replies "On the couch." We are on the floor, so I happily think, yes! Saved by the mommy rules - but not, so! His mother then says "So go find a spot on the couch."
Luckily (yet unluckily) he is immediately distracted by B flinging her hands into the air and he swiftly grabs her little hand, to which I cannot stop from yelping "Easy!" and he proceeds to stick her hand in his mouth to kiss or suck, I'm not really sure because before I know it, I'm whisking B into the air saying she needs her diaper changed, all the while keeping said hand away from her hungry little mouth. (Have I mentioned that B sticks her hands in her mouth constantly?) I then artfully position myself, B and the diaper bag behind a chair where I proceed to use half a box of baby wipes on B's hand and arm before changing her dry diaper. Who lets their child stick a baby's hand in their mouth? He has his own little sister whose hand he can eat anytime. And surely, the "I will never..." phrase welled up inside of me. I will never let B go around eating people's baby's hands. I will never let B put her hands all over little babies because I will remember those days. I know that children are curious about babies, I understand. Babies are very cute, and they are tinier than toddlers which is very appealing since toddlers are little people themselves.
Later the afternoon when B was safely attached to my boob, this little boy was playing with his baby sister, and happily shoving her little fingers into his mouth. Suddenly the little baby cried out, and the mother yelled at her son "What did you do?" His response? ......... "I bit her finger." And while this short conversation was going on between mother and son, the poor baby was so worked up with a silent scream that she wasn't taking a breath - that awful, purple look. The mother freaked out, scooped up the wailing infant and dragged the boy into the other room. Not before us other moms noticed the bite mark on the baby's finger. And all I could think? Thank goodness it wasn't B. Today would not have been a good day for Momma Bear to come out. (aka, me losing my cool over B, which isn't pretty or good for keeping mommy friends) Ahh, parenthood. Here's to hoping...."I will never let my child bite a baby."
Monday, July 25, 2011
Shopaholics Anonymous
If anyone has a baby girl, then they can understand how easily one can go broke while clothes shopping. Walk into any baby clothing store, and 75% of the store is taken up with adorable, must-have-it-all girl clothing, and the rest of the store offers a sad, measly baby boy selection.
Before I had B, I thought "I am going to save so much money! I will provide for my daughter! I will pay down my credit cards! I will be so frugal! Hooray for my savvy money skills! Thank you Suze Orman!" Well, that was all fine and good until I walked into Carters and Gymboree. Oh my!! Racks of bright colors, cotton candy ruffles, soft cotton and shiny satin. I inhale that fresh, new clothes smell and prance over to the first rack. Ballet pajamas! B cannot live without these pajamas!! Wait - is that a fluffy pink fairy-esque onesie? B MUST have that! And oh, wait, I think I have a coupon. If I spend $40, I get 20% off, so I OBVIOUSLY must spend $40 because then I get the best deal, so I'll just check out these precious "I love Mommy" shirts...ahh, yes, shopping for a girl will put you in the poor house.
And not only that, but I have baby toy envy. Trust me, B has oodles of baby toys. Balls, loveys, blocks, chairs, jumpers... But then we go to a playdate and suddenly B must have the new tummy time mat that her little friend has. Granted, when I put B on the tummy time mat, she promptly spit up and began to scream. Yes, yes - B loved it for sure! So, at our next Target trip or next time I'm on Amazon (oh, Amazon, how I love thee - but more about you later) I pick up the tummy time mat.
And Amazon - how can I express how much I love this site? I would be afraid to know how much of my paycheck goes to Amazon! First, I am part of Amazon Mom, so things ship (any price!) for free in 2 days. So, I can buy B a pacifier for $3.99 on Monday and it will arrive on Wednesday. Amazon is just way too easy. As I peruse, I see a cute baby toy that B needs - add it to my shopping cart with a single click and voila! It is on my doorstep in two days. Hmm? I need some more baby wipes? No problem! The UPS man surely thinks that I have a sickness. He is at my door every other day. And when B was first born? Forget it! I bought so much on Amazon, UPS would sometimes make up to 3 trips a day! I realized how many little things I needed while I was a breastfeeding machine. A second cover for my Breastfriend, a diaper caddy for the living room, a pack and play mobile, diaper cream for the diaper bag...
And how can I leave out the faux-shopping for when I want to spend, but I just can't? I go on to one of my favorite sites. One Step Ahead, gap.com, Hanna Andersson, Mini-Boden USA, - and I put all of these lovely little outfits into my shopping cart. Click, click, click. Sleepers, bathing suits, cable knit sweaters. Ahh - it feels so fulfilling to fill up my sweet digital shopping cart. Then I check the total when I am finished. $275 - not a problem! And before I can truly consider purchasing my goods, I quickly click the screen closed. Yes, that shopping spree was fun. I enjoyed it thoroughly. And the best part - it didn't cost a dime! (Of course, I will try to go back later and buy some of those items when I have a COUPON!)
Before I had B, I thought "I am going to save so much money! I will provide for my daughter! I will pay down my credit cards! I will be so frugal! Hooray for my savvy money skills! Thank you Suze Orman!" Well, that was all fine and good until I walked into Carters and Gymboree. Oh my!! Racks of bright colors, cotton candy ruffles, soft cotton and shiny satin. I inhale that fresh, new clothes smell and prance over to the first rack. Ballet pajamas! B cannot live without these pajamas!! Wait - is that a fluffy pink fairy-esque onesie? B MUST have that! And oh, wait, I think I have a coupon. If I spend $40, I get 20% off, so I OBVIOUSLY must spend $40 because then I get the best deal, so I'll just check out these precious "I love Mommy" shirts...ahh, yes, shopping for a girl will put you in the poor house.
And not only that, but I have baby toy envy. Trust me, B has oodles of baby toys. Balls, loveys, blocks, chairs, jumpers... But then we go to a playdate and suddenly B must have the new tummy time mat that her little friend has. Granted, when I put B on the tummy time mat, she promptly spit up and began to scream. Yes, yes - B loved it for sure! So, at our next Target trip or next time I'm on Amazon (oh, Amazon, how I love thee - but more about you later) I pick up the tummy time mat.
And Amazon - how can I express how much I love this site? I would be afraid to know how much of my paycheck goes to Amazon! First, I am part of Amazon Mom, so things ship (any price!) for free in 2 days. So, I can buy B a pacifier for $3.99 on Monday and it will arrive on Wednesday. Amazon is just way too easy. As I peruse, I see a cute baby toy that B needs - add it to my shopping cart with a single click and voila! It is on my doorstep in two days. Hmm? I need some more baby wipes? No problem! The UPS man surely thinks that I have a sickness. He is at my door every other day. And when B was first born? Forget it! I bought so much on Amazon, UPS would sometimes make up to 3 trips a day! I realized how many little things I needed while I was a breastfeeding machine. A second cover for my Breastfriend, a diaper caddy for the living room, a pack and play mobile, diaper cream for the diaper bag...
And how can I leave out the faux-shopping for when I want to spend, but I just can't? I go on to one of my favorite sites. One Step Ahead, gap.com, Hanna Andersson, Mini-Boden USA, - and I put all of these lovely little outfits into my shopping cart. Click, click, click. Sleepers, bathing suits, cable knit sweaters. Ahh - it feels so fulfilling to fill up my sweet digital shopping cart. Then I check the total when I am finished. $275 - not a problem! And before I can truly consider purchasing my goods, I quickly click the screen closed. Yes, that shopping spree was fun. I enjoyed it thoroughly. And the best part - it didn't cost a dime! (Of course, I will try to go back later and buy some of those items when I have a COUPON!)
About ME
So - a little bit about me now. I am a new mother of a beautiful 4 month old baby girl, B. She is amazing. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, but I had no idea that being a mother would change my life so much, and in so many ways. I had no idea that I would love being a mother as much as I do. And as much work as I thought it would be, it turns out that it is actually MORE! Some of my childless friends have asked me to describe how it feels, and it really is hard to put into words. My life changed the minute I peed on that stick. It was as if my life was a planet, and my planet was revolving around my own little sun. And then, all of a sudden, my orbit changed completely, and I began to orbit around a different sun aka Baby.
As cheesy as it sounds, a quote from Breaking Dawn (Twilight) explains it best:
"Everything inside me came undone... All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was ... disconnected from me in that second – snip, snip, snip – and floated up into space. I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was...The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. It was the baby ... that held me here now..."
As cheesy as it sounds, a quote from Breaking Dawn (Twilight) explains it best:
"Everything inside me came undone... All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was ... disconnected from me in that second – snip, snip, snip – and floated up into space. I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was...The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. It was the baby ... that held me here now..."
Sunday, July 24, 2011
How to Start a Blog
So, I've always been fascinated by blogs. For example, does anyone really read them? And what makes my life sooo interesting that I feel the need to start one? And who will want to read it? But, I figured, what the heck? If people are posting what they ate for lunch on facebook, then I could start a blog. And some events in my life are definitely more interesting than the ham and cheese sandwich on THE BEST rye bread EVER <3 that you just ate and felt the need to share with 599 FB friends (478 of whom you don't really know that well). And then, when you got sick from said sandwich, all 599 of us had to know about that too - 'nuff said, I can start a blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)